All of us fall for emotional dependency and then we feel the need to be emotionally independent. But is emotional independency the same as emotional freedom? The answer is no. In a quest towards emotional independence, I learnt about what truly is emotional freedom. Emotional Liberation is Emotional freedom.
Before going into what it is, lets discuss on who needs Emotional Liberation. Do you feel the need to ask sorry for something that is no mistake of yours? Do you think you’re a people pleaser? Do you blame your own emotions for creating problems with others? Are you fighting yourself to not feel an emotion? Do you blame others for your problems? Do you find a need to shun away or postpone from feeling an emotion as not feeling it feels good? Do you lose yourself in other people’s needs? Do you feel guilty for problems faced by others? If your answer is yes to at least one of the above, then you need Emotional Liberation.
“First of all, I’d like to thank Arien Smith (founder of ‘Weareallsacredbeings’) and Aurora Remember Holtzman (Writer at AuroraRemember.com). Most of the points stated below are excerpts or my interpretation of excerpts from the articles about Emotional Liberation in AuroraRemember.com and Weareallsacredbeings.com”
Marshall Rosenberg, author of ‘Nonviolent communication: A language of life” has stated the 4 stages in achieving emotional liberation:
The need to be Emotionally Liberate arises because of Emotional slavery.
Emotional slavery is when a person blames oneself and feels responsible for the feelings of others. A person who is under Emotional slavery finds it hard to stand up for oneself. People under emotional slavery tend to blame themselves and they often find it really hard to accept judgements from other people.
Emotional slavery leads to a stage called as Obnoxious stage. People in this stage, decide that they’re no way responsible for anyone else’s feelings. People tend to be aggressive rather than assertive and they stop being ‘nice’.
The next stage is the stage of Emotional liberation. The 1st step of Emotional liberation is to let yourself feel more. Permitting your heart to feel, liberates your heart from any kind of resistance. This doesn’t mean that you have to express your feelings outwardly, but it is more of an internal journey. One most important factor that helps you to be emotionally liberate is to practice self-love
The 2nd step is to recognise the resistance you feel in the 1st step, in feeling an emotion, and to let yourself feel deeper. Keep repeating the process of recognising the resistance in you, and liberating your emotions.
Rosenberg states the final stage, as written by Aurora Remember Holtzman, as
“a final stage of emotional liberation, when we can feel and express empathy towards the needs of others. Not in a way that sacrifices our own feelings and needs, but in a way that looks to support the needs of all parties. At this point you show attempts at understanding the other person, which usually engenders more cooperation. Once you can clearly express your own feelings and needs while taking into consideration the feelings and needs of others, you are free to explore strategies that can meet everyone’s needs.”
It is very vital for people practicing emotional liberation to understand that Emotional liberation is more of a journey or a process, than a final destination. Most people thing they’re Emotionally independent, but are still not emotionally free. Liberate yourself. If you don’t care about your emotionality, noone else will. Noone else owes that to you. You owe it to yourself